Suburban Trust Fund Nazi Seeking Dirty Bomb Killed by Deranged Wife

No really; I don't make the news up as I go folks.  Hell I won't even pretend to report it.  I don't have that kind of budget.  I am a second party news spewer and editorializer.  Today I relate to you a third hand story that is only made scarier by the fact that it isn't more well known.
Three months ago a man, if you can call a wife abusing, fascist, racist, trust fund fed waste of carbon based life a man but science argues that any upright bipedal male homo sapian is in fact a man so I shall not dispute the term at this time as it applies to James G. Cummings of Belfast Maine, was shot dead by his wife.  Her suffering, under this deranged lunatic, caused her to snap; she claims, and I do not doubt.  The fat vicious thug was known for berating her in front of workers, come to do repairs on the couples fixer-up-er, and roaming around the house in cowboy hats and leather ankle length coats.  If a man will shit on his wife in public; you know he makes her eat it in private.  Courts are notorious for giving cops the benefit of the doubt when dispensing lethal force in the defense of the public interest.  I see no reason, in this case why a mother, who is charged with a far greater responsibility, when defending her family from evil, violence, and baseless hatred, should not be granted the same benefit.  Particularly when her actions not only defended herself and her family but possibly yours, mine, and, quite conceivably, the President's family.

While we were busy fighting 'over there' to keep away the next Mohammad Atta, the new Tim McVeigh was right here. This brat of wealth had never worked a day in his life and had no reason to hate the world; that wouldn't stand in Jim Cumming's way. He was a big admirer of Hitler and even collected the dinnerware of the Genocidal German Warlord. The Blood Flag hung prominently in the Cummings' home. James G. Cummings was none to pleased with the results of November's exercise in constitutional democracy.
Not so prominent was the weapons lab. Reports indicate that he had in the house four 1-gallon containers of 35 percent hydrogen peroxide, uranium, thorium, lithium metal samples, thermite, aluminum powder, beryllium, boron, black iron oxide and magnesium ribbon (Radiological metals and bomb making materials) as well as literature on constructing a dirty bomb. The odd thing is; the radiological metals he had were not the sort you would use in a Radiological Dispersion Device. The bastard may have been attempting to employ one of our own nasties against us; a depleted uranium shell for some form of IED. Thankfully we will never know how this sick man planned to use these against our country. All of us need to ask thanks of Amber Cummings' trigger finger for not hesitating, to this nation and the world's, peril. I am glad James Cummings died on December 9, 2008 and not January 20th, 2009.

Hell it's a terrible thought.  Why would I bother putting into words a terrible (if not wholly implausible given the security measures taken in the Capital for such an event) scenario?  Is the political beat so slow right now I am reduced to hyperbolic Rovian fear mongering just so I can put some new digital ink under my byline?  No I have these thoughts when I think that all we've heard lately from the Bush family's Ministry of Truth is the cry of he 'kept us safe after 9-11, he made the world safer'  I guess Amber was a sleeper agent that eliminated the only supplied, informed, funded, and self motivated terrorist threat to emerge against America since Bush's administration failed to prevent the worst Terrorist attack in American History.  This guy had the means and the motive and the tools, and like some comic book villain, he had the will to write his name in blood on the walls of history.  What stopped him was not the Department of Homeland Security, the USA Patriot Act, the Military Commissions Act, enhanced interrogations, black site prisons, corporate mercenary forces, preemptive war, or warrentless wiretaps.  It was a battered housewife who had had enough and a firearm.  At least Mom's still looking out for the country.
I can't actually say I am surprised that this Nazi worshiping shitbag got so close to ending our world.  Bush only really cracked down on the Domestic Terrorists he didn't like.  E.L.F. was doomed from the word jump but the right to life zealots who bomb abortion clinics and order hits on doctors were not so unfortunate.  Neither were good God-fearing Nazi trust fund babies who liked to pretend to be Texas land wranglers.  We know who was Grandpa Prescott's Apt Pupil.  I want that whole Nazi sympathizing clan of war pimps sterilized and exiled.  I hear the Hague is going to prosecute Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld; international courts still hang war criminals, right?