The Bathrobe Prophet's Unified Theory of Space-Time

The conical ellipsis model I use for visual perspective is also some what flawed but gives an idea of the path of energy through space-time. First of all I am a writer and a thinker not a graphic designer; Second of all its a four dimensional concept, represented by a three dimensional model, in a two dimensional medium. In a world where my skills to shape images is equal to my capacity for profound and creative thought I would depict the universe as a great willow whose branches are the explosion of energy bursting up and out into space time, from the White Fountain. Eventually the branches of energy bent back by their own weight become the roots that feed into the trunk.

The character Tyler Durden, from the novel and movie Fight Club, was a philosopher of destruction which is why I find it appropriate to paraphrase him in describing how my universal map explains our reality. On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everything drops to zero. Since the timeline we are dealing with is infinite eventually everything is sucked into the corona of some distant churning event horizon where all the atomic bonds of matter are shattered so that it might breakdown into raw energy, which is condensed in a furnace of gravity that breaks reality with its sheer power, then sucked out of existence only to be spewed back out at the universal point of origin; the White Fountain, the Big Bang, the other side of the cosmic rainbow.

While my fountain/hole based universal space-time map is a stroke of genius in the understanding of the macro-universe; you have to prove the macro in the micro for it transcend from space-time perspective to unifying theory. Fountain/hole theory can be proved by comparing it to all the essential functions we see around us. Geological erosion, commerce, ecosystems, atomic bonds, all mirror the process of the infinite universe the fountain/hole theory describes. Energy (as either energy or its condensed form, matter) is consumed and then expelled so that it can be consumed anew. The process is also as basically mathematical as you can get, it’s a binary equation -1=+1. Something is subtracted somewhere and gets added back somewhere else. Accepting that math (I hate the word as I hate hell) is the fundamental basis for all systems in the universe, including the universe itself, a unifying theory would have to function as an equation; the simpler the better. Because the Universe is a circuit with no beginning or end it is both a closed system subject to entropy and it eliminates that one billion trillionth of a second where the state of the universe cannot be reckoned.

The reverse of gravity that warps space-time (as is realized in a singularity) is an inertia that warps space-time thus the white fountain provides a simplified explanation to the matter of Inflation. It makes sense for it to appear as though the universe expanded at a rate faster than the speed of light when in fact the energy, escaping through the white fountain, is released with such force that it moves through space in leaps of warp speed (no geek homage here; speed that literally warps space time allowing matter and energy to cross vast distances regardless of the limitation of light speed)

I have a slightly more complicated version of white fountain expansion theory; cosmic warp ripple theory, where energy leaving the white fountain does so with such force that it immediately rips a super massive singularity into almost exactly the same position in space time as the white fountain. Because the energy that created the super massive singularity is instantly forced back out the white fountain the opposing forces are both instant and constant causing the energy to now surge out from the maelstrom of warp space created by the conflicting-self feeding forces. I prefer the first Inflation theory even though I am sure the latter is closer to reality. The second one involves a lot of physics that bounce around in my skull like a .22, turning my brain into so much red jelly; which is why I am sure it is the closest to reality. It actually turns into a sort of leap frog effect where the energy escaping the Fountain/Super Massive Singularity warp field is also moving fast enough to warp space but in a much more scattered blast. Instead of one huge black hole; the second warp ripple generates a whole ring of lesser singularities. These begin pulling more of the energy into themselves (which is blasted back out of the white fountain and into the growing cosmic storm of warp ripples) and also warp and stretch space around themselves; spreading these lesser singularities out further. Eventually energy leaving the warp field is subjected to so many conflicting gravity fields that the energy is drifting along the various currents at a leisurely 186,282 miles per second and no longer rips big holes in space-time. This allows energy to condense, cool, reform, coalesce into matter.  This matter becomes the gas clouds which form galaxies, planets, and stars which expel other elements in their supernova death rattles or collapse into more black holes which themselves burst with gamma energy.

Like Einstein I’ll need a few generations worth of engineers and scientists to do the heavy lifting and prove my theories. I deal in concepts and answers; details and numbers are above my pay grade. When you read my obituary, that I have been run down by a motorized wheel chair, you will know that I was right and even the Hawkman can’t deny it. I can’t blame him. I have no right to this knowledge; or even a firm grip on how it came into my head. I didn’t study, strive, sweat, slave, or dedicate my life to forming a unified theory of space-time. I just did it. Sure, it could be horribly wrong; but it doesn’t feel wrong. It reeks of high grade truth. This is what my mind does on its own. This is what happens when I can’t sleep. If I was trained I would be a danger.

I know things. I know Oppenheimer never said, I am become Death. He said I Am become Death, because in his mind it was the will of God that bound energy into matter to create form and life out of nothingness (Read: energy; which since we are in the philosophy section can also me described as a function of the Creative Will) and he undid that will and scattered the very essence of creation into the wind. He turned creation into destruction and saw that this was bad. I know why a raven is like a writing desk; not because I am mad either. Any writer could answer the hatter’s riddle as easily I can. And though I have an understanding of the functions of reality to such a degree that I don’t need a God to explain how the universe or the world or the human race came to be, I still know there is a creator behind all this. I know because I am a creator; I make worlds out of words to pass the time I must spend in this one. I can see the threads of storytelling in this world; from global events to the minutia of daily life. I know God exists; knowledge denies faith and offers none of its comforts. I can see my theory regarding White Fountains and Black Holes reflected in the creators and destroyers of so many faiths and the balances of positive and negative energy in so many spiritual philosophies. God tells the story; science is the setting and we are the characters. If you do not believe that God (or at least his ghost writers) used metaphor I suggest you reread the book (any of them really) because it is loaded with literary flourishes of every form. I know there is a God; I am not so arrogant to believe that gives me insight into such a being’s nature or will. I would hope to not judge our creator by the story of this world as I would also not like to be judged, morally speaking, for some of the worlds I crafted.

At heart I am still a writer; I have no long term interests in storming the towers of hard science. One might conclude that I am only publishing a unified theory of space-time to be a show off; the smart ass geek who always embarrassed the hard working honors students and the teacher. Putting down my doodles or the Stephen King book I was reading inside my text book and then not only quoting back half the lecture but pointing out where they had been wrong or mispoke things in a way that made what was right horribly inaccurate. Nothing keeps you out of the doldrums of classwork so well as undermining the authority of a teacher with your superior intellect and casual disregard. Though it keeps to my form it is not the truth of the function I intend here. The purpose of this exercise is not to piss off every hard working physicist out there who slogged through trig and calculus just to have some silly stoner come along blurt out that one equals infinity and walk away.

The purpose of this article is to illustrate to others what it is like inside my head. This is to show others why I can’t sleep sometimes unless I find a way to turn down the volume on my brain. To remind those closest to me with the means to aid me that even if I cannot turn this potential to profit there is still merit to sustaining my continued creative expression and continued exploration of knowledge and truth. To show that you can’t judge the value of a mind solely on the capacity of it’s works to generate income. That condemning a creative mind to a life of tedium is a kin to raising a wolf as a vegan. Ah what the hell; I am probably just showing off.